my mom asked for initiation. i refused. i don’t think she knows what she is getting into.

it started because i talked about ted. the considerate builder. breaking it down in american liberty style.

i had a councilman over this evening. he left with zucchini i did not grow. i imbued him with the passion. no smell.

who gnows what this may become. oh the internets.

are you going to be pissed if i don’t call you. wet.

i once had a book called “head first design patterns”, and it’s a shame i have lost it. i always find myself digressing into these well studied and understood methods once i slice off the bullshit and open my mind to the abstract realities of experience. you can probably find literary patterns here in this speech so hastily written. deep down, we are all machines operating in a random deterministic machine.

it’s funny i still try to rationalize feelings as if that makes them more justifiable, or acceptable, or numbs the pain of unfulfilled desires that could so easily go anyway they please. but you can’t just force it, that is the only thing a magician can not do. use force, for that would require everything plus one, and until you redefine addition, good luck francis bacon.

disarmed.

my mind abuses my heart. you’re not the one.

there was a poem on my whiteboard before i went to the market today. i erased it to sell things. magic water. people actually buy it.

it said next to some one.

and that was the most important thing. i am on the cusp of manifesting it, but i have to relax and chill, yet not too much, because i have found that an easy solution is ever so inches away. and sometimes i don’t have the devices to make it all work. so much. new, shaking, exhilarated.

i perceive this complex fantasy. phantomly. a puzzle that i would rather not solve all at once. ease me into it. massage the last of the mohicans out of the forest. no, don’t let it run away, come back, focus on the topic at hand, the only thing worth living for, the only thing dead. value is in the eye of the b holder.

d vine.

my folly is wondering what others thinking and then taking my thoughts of their thoughts as my own. but which came first.

go. out to your tree. nap. in your fortress. i never know what i want to know.

do you want to kiss me/ i instantly distract myself as if it never happened, and then i see, me there