i let it slip by. responsibility got me. disability of a tempermental mouse. i am used to such precision. glory. minor flicks. slow. in and out.

rub your left eye.

ooh. the pepper burns. we’ve been cooking. eating off the land. me and my precious.

sometimes we’s don’t eat it alls.

i am meeting with the mayor tomorrow. maybe i should shave? get a hari cut. krishna. tell him i live in a tree house and that the land is feeling its way out. stuttering thoughts. delayed actions. as we i ching. aligning the spine, consciousness. divine. what else do you have to do? what can be more important the second time it crosses your mind, in the present, just like you imagined. time around you, sending slightly delayed signals to a processor. sensible.

i can envision two worlds.

only at the same time if i merge them. d. that is the key. vine.

my hands play different instruments. can i play the same instrument with just ohe hand. both desperately. chance edits.

there isn’t a good hawaiian keyboard set-up. so instead i am using dvorak.

be here now. ah, i exist.

wow. sometimes, i just don’t care. i failed to make it to the market on saturday. natural farming is down. i failed to work on the grant. natural farming is down. what the fuck do they need money for anyway, oh wait, i know, so it can be wasted. how about getting me wasted. fucking me out of this mind. blasting me into heaven and leaving nothing but a trace of pure heaven.

i have no incentive.

let me listen to the manly p hall lecture on value. philosophy. jd asked me what i am up to lately. i saturated him with about two minutes of ponderings. the condensed feelings of learning. i haven’t seen him since the day before easter. april second. i invited him to my mass. no one showed up. i worked to build a fence. fitting. i told him about generation. going from the father and mother to only the child. that a composition rests within me that can not be wrong. even though john beat me at chess. pretty decisively.

i knew i would not win when i set out to move. to beat him it requires extraordinary will power. i have to summon the force of the ancients. he is far superior a player. sometimes, most times, i don’t have enough mustard.

i was poisoned yesterday. let me rise above it.

waves. good by.

the deep dark masons. the greeting with fingers posed as a cat. the black badge.

who knows who is conscious. perhaps we all act it out in inevitability. none of us truly aware of our significance. i instantly change my position to become the fool as i write. leg up. bent to the knee. my sight sees something in the nothing. picking patterns out of oblivion. another perspective. almost like blueprints molding my future.

this moment.

defining the next. it’s the subtle things you must watch for. the things that you would easily glance over unless you were given eyes to see. the senses so immaculate at doing just one thing. who has their hands behind their back. what is that flange called. a triangle and a tee. a why. how do you know when to stop, and what is important.  i skip over some stuff, labeling it vulgar and profane.

my original sin of approximation.

the most important may be the most insignificant. the mutter that spawned creation. the murmur that fluttered away. always trying to build connections, correspondence, begging and screaming for any hint. be it that a whisper toward truth, the best at this moment. testes of the new infinity. the child within himself. a rarity you’ll see. perhaps my actions now are generative, and that my future unfolds because i am.

oh, it’s all a cruel joke. a caption over tragedy. humor where nothing exists. out of place and out of time. yet within the environment and trying not to be late. anamorphic to reality. the puzzle linked by space. bordered by war. heavy machinery to be beneath. a celebration of mystery, confounded yet solved. here all along between light and dark, as the observer, it’s your reality.

time has sped up.

it’s always the same. shaking hands, touching the third knuckle.