i once had a book called “head first design patterns”, and it’s a shame i have lost it. i always find myself digressing into these well studied and understood methods once i slice off the bullshit and open my mind to the abstract realities of experience. you can probably find literary patterns here in this speech so hastily written. deep down, we are all machines operating in a random deterministic machine.

it’s funny i still try to rationalize feelings as if that makes them more justifiable, or acceptable, or numbs the pain of unfulfilled desires that could so easily go anyway they please. but you can’t just force it, that is the only thing a magician can not do. use force, for that would require everything plus one, and until you redefine addition, good luck francis bacon.

disarmed.

my mind abuses my heart. you’re not the one.